A Sad Goodbye...

Last Tuesday night we had to say our final good-bye to our wonderful dog, Daisy. Jeff and I got daisy in the spring of 1999, about a year before Max was born. She was our "guinea pig" of a child I guess. We took her everywhere we went. I would even take her around stores in my over-sized purse. Max came around and Daisy was officially replaced. Not too badly, because those two became best friends. Max LOVED Daisy and Daisy LOVED Max. Daisy then became the go-to-gal for any type of distraction for all of our kids. If they were hurt, sad, whatever, it was always so easy to say "where's Daisy?" or "Go give Daisy kisses." Soon the tears turned into squeals of happiness and all sadness was forgotten.

About 7 weeks ago Daisy was diagnosed with a heart murmur. We put her on 2 medications to help her heart pump more efficiently and to help get rid of the fluid that was building up in and around her lungs. We didn't know how long it would help, but in our research, many dogs can live 2-4 more years after such a diagnosis. After 6 weeks on the medicine we noticed her breathing becoming more labored. After a call to the vet, she increased one of her meds. It was only about 4 days later that she took a quick turn for the worse. Within 3 hours she went from slightly labored breathing to what was obvious and sever discomfort. She couldn't even lay down, and just continued panting, as her whole body struggled for air. At 11:15pm Jeff and I decided she had had enough. I took her into the 24 hour vet clinic and had her put to sleep. I cannot convey how absolutely sad it was for me. I cried all evening, knowing the inevitable, but kept pushing it off on "I'll be so sad for my kids." I was sad for my kids, and still am. But what I quickly realized was that I was really mostly sad for me. For 13 years she has just been around. Always there to clean up any food we drop. She was always anxious to meet every baby we brought home. She would bark when someone was at the door (which mostly annoyed me but was really helpful when I was upstairs and couldn't hear the knocking.) It made traveling more difficult because we always had to find someone to take care of her, but as soon as we got home, she was always there to greet us. She was as loyal and they come and wouldn't even hurt a flea. 

Now, with a quiet house, my kids back to school and Jo taking a nap, I sit here in silence sobbing from sadness at the loss of our dog. I never had any pets growing up so this has been my first experience having one, loving one, and losing one. It has only been a week, and I know that eventually the happy memories will be the only things we remember, instead of this sad void. I loved Daisy. She was definitely a member of our family and she will always be missed.

Note: One lesson I learned through this whole thing is how harshly I have always judged those crazy animal lovers.  Yes, some of them are still crazy, but I think I have had a small glimpse into their animal loving world, and understand the connection you can have with any living creature.